Rhythms#2: Forgive

When was the last time you had to forgive someone?
                 Can you remember what it was that they did to you?

When was the last time you had to ask someone to forgive you?
                 Can you remember how long it took for you to have the courage to ask them?

If you interact with human beings, chances are you will at some point have reason to forgive or be forgiven.  None of us are innocent.  Everyone has been hurt or has hurt someone else.  The importance of following Jesus is in what you do with that hurt.

If you live in a household with kids you probably see the importance of forgiveness played out on a daily basis.  Inevitably someone is going to hit, or say a mean name or take a toy from someone else.  No household could survive if there was not a means of dealing with all the hurt that we do to one another on a regular basis.  The practice of forgiveness allows us the opportunity to "deal" with this hurt without simply sweeping it under the rug.

In Matthew 18:15-18 Jesus says to his disciples....

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. ¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' ¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Here in the text, Jesus makes it clear that "sinning" or harming one another is not acceptable behavior, but he also makes it clear that being harmed is not an excuse to harm someone else.  He challenges the disciples that when they are harmed they need to approach the offender privately. (assuming that this is something that can be done safely)  The hope of verse 15 is that despite the fact that this person has harmed you, you still want what's best for them, and you still value their reputation.  If the person is willing to change then great, but if the person wants to continue down a path of harming others then verse 17 makes it clear that this person needs to be told that their choice of destructive behavior will only mean their absence from a relationship with you in the future.

Jesus makes it clear that while we are called to forgive, we are certainly not always called to forget.

Jesus' type of forgiveness requires us to always want what is best for every person, no matter what they have been guilty of doing, but it does not mean that we allow them to be in positions where they can continue to hurt us or others.  As Jesus' followers we have to hope for healing and reconciliation for the Jerry Sandusky's of the world, but that certainly doesn't mean that we would ask him to babysit our children.

Jesus ends his discussion of forgiveness using the images of binding and loosing, tying things up and setting things free.  These are great images for us to think about the rhythm of forgiveness.

Who have we bound up because of what they have done to us?
Who might God be calling for us to set free?

The following clip from the film version of Les Miserables is an incredible image of what loosing, or setting free can look like.